Again... Sassy Girl!

The Girl: You know why the sky is blue?
Kyun-woo: Because the reflection from the sunshine causes...
The Girl: Wrong! It's to make me happy. I wanted it to be blue, so it's blue. You know why fire is hot? It's all for me. I wanted it to be hot, so it's hot. You know why we have four seasons here in Korea?
Kyun-woo: For you?
The Girl: Correct. 

Translation:
Gusto man palan! Labot mo man!

photo source :
http://hakojou.blogspot.com/2011/02/if-she-says-shell-kill-you-dont-take-it.html

You Are Not Feeling Well...

You are not feeling well today.

It's that UTI like pain again. 

I hope your discomfort gets away soon so it won't add to the busy time you have. 

Hope you'd get well right away.

And also, 

SMILE

625...

PRESIDING OFFICER KRIS AQUINO Part2

PLEASE ALL RISE. Senate President Kris Aquino Presiding.

Day 2, Moment No. 1:
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino: The impeachment trial of Chief Justice Renato C. Corona is hereby called to order. But before we proceed to the presentation of evidence, I’d like to take this opportunity na magpasalamat sa family court ng Makati City. Kay Judge, love love love na talaga kita. Ayaw ko po munang magbigay na detalye kasi magagalit na naman sina Ate Ballsy at Ate Pinky. Pero thank you so much talaga Judge. Ipagpi-pray kita sa Manaoag next week. Promise. ‘Yon lang. Aha-ha-ha! Okay, let’s proceed. Tito Sen?

Majority Leader Tito Sotto: We are in receipt of a request filed by the prosecution for the issuance of subpoena duces tecum and subpoena ad testifacandum to Chief Justice Renato Corona, his wife, children, son-in-law, yaya, gardener, driver, cook, laundrywoman, electrician, plumber, cable guy, internet service provider, favorite vendor, and neighbors in relation to the instant impeachment proceedings.

PO Kris Aquino: Gosh, ang dami lang. Ok, denied! Aha-ha-ha!

Cong. Niel Tupas: The prosecution submits to the ruling of the Senate President.

PO Kris Aquino: Talaga? I love youuuuuu!

Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano: Madam Presiding Officer…

PO Kris Aquino: The gentleman from Taguig…

Senator Cayetano: I agree with the ruling in so far as the Chief Justice is concerned. But with the wife, children, son-in-law, yaya, gardener, driver, cook, laundrywoman, electrician, plumber, cable guy, internet service provider, favorite vendor, and neighbors I’d like to express my reservations.

PO Kris Aquino: So you’re opposing my ruling, gano’n?
Senator Cayetano: Can we put this into a vote?

PO Kris Aquino: My God, I hate you. Pinapahiya mo ‘ko. Live pa naman tayo! Feeling ko tuloy nasa Day 2 pa lang tayo, grandstanding ka na. Okay fine! Eh ‘di vote.

Majority Leader Tito Sotto: Those who are in favor of the ruling of Madam Chair raise your hands… 1, 2, 3… 14! Those who are not in favor, please raise your hands! 1,2,3, 4, 5, 6. Fourteen-six for the ruling of the presiding officer.

PO Kris Aquino: 14-6? Yeyyyyy! Sorry Alan, I won. Aha-ha-ha Pero wait lang. Kayong labing-apat, lalo ka na Tito Frank, humanda kayo kay Noy! Unless bumawi ka sa Day 3, which I am sure you will… knowing you. Aha-ha-ha. In fairness, kasama sa six ang Nacionalista boys. Ano kayang nakain? Aha-ha-ha. One minute suspension. Tawagan ko lang si Deo for my taping sked.

Trial Suspended.

Day 2, Moment No. 2:
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino: May we start with the presentation of evidence? It’s getting late na. Oily na ‘ko. Please.
Cong. Elpidio Barzaga: Madam Chair…

PO Kris Aquino: Guard, ‘yong driver naligaw sa floor. Paki-guide palabas please.
Cong. Elpidio Barzaga: Madam Chair… I am part of the prosecution.
PO Kris Aquino: Oh gosh. Sorrrrrry! I’m so mean. Sorry po talaga. I honestly thought you were… never mind. Please proceed.

Congressman Barzaga: The prosecution, Your Honor, is reydi to present its evidence and as provided for in the complaint, we shall start presenting evidence in so far…
PO Kris Aquino: Wait lang Mr. Congressman! Matagal ka na bang walang buhok? Is that alopecia?
(Crowd laughs)
PO Kris Aquino: O, bakit kayo tumatawa? Hellooooo. Alangan namang itanong ko, ‘bakit makapal ang buhok’ mo. Kaloka kayo!
Congressman Barzaga: Since early 2000 Your Honor.
PO Kris Aquino: See? Honest siya! I’m starting to like you na. May personality ka, promise! Try mo kaya ‘yong shampoo na bigay ko kay Noy last year. Nabili ko sa States. I’ll give you the brand name later after ng session. Effective siya as in. Wait, sorry, I didn’t quite get your name…
Congressman Barzaga: Elpidio Barazaga Jr, Madam Chair, representing the City of Dasmariñas.
PO Kris Aquino: Owwws? Alam ba nilang nire-represent mo sila?
Congressman Barzaga: Madam Chair?
PO Kris Aquino: Joke lang. Aha-ha-ha. Gusto mong lumabas sa sequel ng ‘Segunda Mano?’
Congressman Barzaga: I beg your pardon…
PO Kris Aquino: Wala! Aha-ha-ha. Let’s proceed. As you were saying…
Congressman Barzaga: Your Honor, we shall start presenting evidence in so far as Article 2 is concerned.

PO Kris Aquino: Article 2? Why? Bakit nabago ang sequence?

Congressman Barzaga: Your Honor, it is a basic truism, in so far as the practice of law is concerned that a party presenting evidence has the power to determine what would be the order of presentation of evidence.

PO Kris Aquino: Hay naku! Nakakatatlong “in so far as” ka na, pansin ko lang. Walang ibang phrase? Aha-ha-ha. ‘Tsaka tigilan mo ko ng truism truism na ‘yan. Umamin ka Congressman, hindi kayo ready ‘no? Careful ka sa answer mo, nakatutok si Noy ngayon. Alam mo na!

Congressman Barzaga: Your Honor, marami na kasing lumabas na reports tungkol sa SALN ng Chief Justice. He even said that he’s willing to donate some of his properties na mapapatunayang kanya.

PO Kris Aquino: You didn’t answer my question… promise. I’m getting disappointed with you na guys.

Congressman Barzaga: Madam Chair, can we just postpone the trial for tomorrow?

PO Kris Aquino: ‘Yun na! I swear, Noy is incensed right now. My God! You’re embarrassing my brother. I hate you! (Message alert tone)

PO Kris Aquino: O ‘yan! Trending ka na raw on Twitter Philippines! I’m sure, they’re mocking you na. Nakakahiyaaa!
Congressman Barzaga: Madam Chair, we just want to give the defense an opportunity to prepare for Article 2.
PO Kris Aquino: You’re making palusot naman ngayon! Ewan ko sa inyo! Lagi n’yo namang ka-meeting si Noy, tapos ganito? Hayyyyy! Mag-usap-usap kayo pwede? Try to regroup! You talaga! One minute suspension nga! When we return, we shall rule on a motion filed by another member of the prosecution.
Trial Suspended.

Day 2, Moment No. 3.
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino: I believe there’s a pending motion filed by the prosecution…

Majority Leader Tito Sotto: As a matter of fact Madam Chair, there is. We received a complaint from public prosecutor Arlene Bag-ao of Akbayan. Apparently Your Honor, somebody else, pretending to be the honorable Congresswoman made an appearance on Day 1 of the impeachment trial. Sa katunayan, nakausap n’yo pa siya sa floor.

PO Kris Aquino: Oh my God. May impostor na nakapasok sa impeachment court?

Cong. Niel Tupas: As far as the prosecution panel is concerned, yes Your Honor. As the Majority Floor Leader mentioned, the impostor probably changed his appearance and assumed the form of Congresswoman Bag-ao during the first day of this trial.

PO Kris Aquino: Nakakaloka! May evidence ba ang prosecution?

Cong. Niel Tupas: Exhibit A, Your Honor: ang kontrobersyal na terno! Kung inyong matatandaan, ang sabi ng impostor, nabili lang sa SM ang terno. Ito ay mariing pinabubulaanan ni Congresswoman Bag-ao. Hindi raw nagmula sa alinmang branch ng SM ang naturang kasuotan. Hindi sa Megamall! Hindi sa SM North! Hindi sa SM Centerpoint! At lalong hindi sa mala-palengkeng SM Mall of Asia!

PO Kris Aquino: Wait lang. So dini-deny ni Congresswoman Bag-ao na nabili niya sa SM ang terno? Sandali. Hindi ko ‘to kinakaya. Kailangan talagang ideny? Isyu ba ‘to? Relevant?

Cong. Niel Tupas: Yes, Your Honor. Kongresista nga naman siya. How dare this impostor claim na nabili lang ang terno sa pang-masang mall? The allegation was absurd, preposterous, baseless, and if I may personally add, defamatory.

PO Kris Aquino: Wait, where did she buy that ba? Landmark?

Congressman Barzaga: Objection! Relevance?!?

PO Kris Aquino: Aha-ha-ha! Mag-object talaga sa ‘kin? Presiding officer ako Mr. Congressman. I can ask clarificatory questions!

Justice Serafin Cuevas: Madam Chair, may I? Point of order.

PO Kris Aquino: Nyeeeeh! Buhay pa pala kayo Justice Cuevas! Next time nga, ‘wag namang biglaan ang pagpaparamdam n’yo! Nakakagulat lang. Promise. What’s your point of order?

Justice Cuevas: The prosecution is apparently delaying this trial. What’s the point of the manifestation?

PO Kris Aquino: True! In fairness, kahit ako naguguluhan. Mr. Prosecutor…

Cong. Niel Tupas: Ang gusto lang namin, higpitan ang seguridad sa impeachment court upang hindi na maulit ang nangyari sa Day 1. Mahirap nang mabiktima ulit ng impostor. Please lang. Nakakasira ng reputasyon.

PO Kris Aquino: The chair hereby orders the Senate Sergeant-At-Arms to impose a stricter screening of visitors. Likewise, from this day on, lahat ng papasok sa Senado ay tatanungin: “Who are you wearing?” Isulat ito sa logbook para may reference ang media. Bongga ‘di ba? At least, maiiwasan natin ang paglabas ng maling info.

Cong. Niel Tupas: Thank you Your Honor.
PO Kris Aquino: No, this impeachment court should thank the prosecution panel. Your terno-driven manifestation was brilliant, promise. I’m sure matutuwa si Noy. So, thank you. And with that, trial adjourned!
Congressman Barzaga: Your Honor…
PO Kris Aquino: Yes, Congressman Barzaga…
Congressman Barzaga: Are you single?
PO Kris Aquino: Objection! Relevance? Aha-ha-ha!


Source : http://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/

PRESIDING OFFICER KRIS AQUINO

WHEN PRESIDING OFFICER Juan Ponce Enrile adjourned the impeachment trial last Thursday, there was a collective sigh of relief (on Twitter) among journalists and even radio/TV hosts covering the historic event. Finally, rest.

Monitoring the trial on TV as well as the press conferences and radio/TV interviews of both the prosecution and defense teams is actually draining. Maybe it would be less exhausting if the presiding officer was Kris Aquino. Hmmm, let’s see.

Day 1, Moment No. 1:
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino (PO Kris):
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Senate and our beloved countrymen,

Today, we begin to perform a solemn task that the sovereign people, through the Constitution they ordained, have reposed upon us, the Senators of the Republic. We convene as a body of jurors to try and render judgment on the… Gosh this is too serious. Can we just shorten this opening statement? Masyadong mahaba eh, sayang ang oras! May shoot pa ko later tonight. Basta pangako ko, I’ll be fair kahit brother ko ang presidente. Kung ayaw n’yong maniwala, care bears! Aha-ha-ha. ‘Yon na ‘yon! Care Bears! Introduce na lang yourselves. Sige na. Wait, para maka-relate ang viewers, ‘yong prosecution, Team Edward sila. ‘Yong defense, Team Jacob naman, ok? Let’s have Team Edward first. Go!

Cong. Niel Tupas Jr.: Madam Senate President, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Senate, good afternoon. Respectfully appearing for the House of Representatives’ prosecution panel, my name iz uh, Niel Tupas Jr. of Iloilo.

PO Kris: Teka lang. Niel Tupas Jr? So dad mo si Niel Tupas Sr? ‘Yong may graft case sa Ombudsman?

Cong. Niel Tupas Jr.: Yes, Madam Senate President. But the case is pending and my father has never been convicted.

PO Kris: Oo nga. I said case. Wala naman akong sinabing convicted ‘di ba? Kaloka. Defensive much? Aha-ha-ha. Next!

Cong. Raul Daza: For the prosecution, Raul Daza, deputy speaker, first district Northern Samar.

PO Kris: Oh my God, Congressman Raul Daza?! The defense lawyer of Erap during his impeachment trial? Hindi ko kayo kinakaya! Until now congressman ka pa rin? Overrrr! Next!

Congw. Marlyn Primicias Agabas: Conditionally, Marlyn Primicias-Aggabas, sixth district, Province of Pangasinan.
Congw. Arlene Bag-ao: Good afternoon Your Honor, respectfully appearing for the prosecution, my name is Arlene Bag-ao from the party-list Akbayan.

PO Kris: Sandali, what’s your name again?
Congw. Bag-ao: Ako po, Your Honor?
PO Kris: No, ‘yong unang girl.
Congw. Agabas: Marlyn Aggabas, Madam Senate President.
PO Kris: I like your terno. Promise. Bagay sa skin tone mo. Rajo Laurel ba ‘yan?
Congw. Agabas: Patis Tesoro, Your Honor.
PO Kris: Sosyaaal! Can afford. O, ikaw naman Congresswoman Bag-ao, sinong tumahi n’yan?
Congw. Bag-ao: SM lang po ‘to Madam Senate President.
PO Kris: Bongga! I like you! Walang pretensions. SM kung SM! Why not ‘di ba? Feeling ko Megamall ‘yan? Kultura?
Congw. Bag-ao: Tama po, Your Honor.
PO Kris: Winnnnner! Anyway, kahit identified ako sa mga taong nagsusulong ng ouster ng Chief Justice, uulitin ko lang, i will try to be fair. Pero, i admit, kapag nakikita ko ang mukha ng mga congressmen, naaalala ko ang dati kong show, ‘yong ‘The Price is Right.’ I don’t know why. Basta. Sandali, session suspended for 5 minutes muna! Retouch lang ako. Bambbi, ‘yong blush-on ko please.

Session Suspended.

Day 1, Moment No. 2:
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino (PO Kris): I am baaaaack. Sorry everyone. Continue na natin. Team Jacob naman. Go!

Retired Justice Serafin Cuevas: Kagalang-galang na Pangulo ng Senado,mahal naming miyembro ng Senado, magandang hapon po sa inyong lahat. This is retired Justice Serafin Cuevas, appearing for the respondent, Renato Corona, your honor. And for that purpose, may we be allowed to state for the record that the Honorable Justice Corona is here pursuant to the invitation of this honorable body.

PO Kris: Ang dami mo nang sinabi. Sandali lang Justice. How old ka na?

Justice Cuevas: For the record your honor, I am turning 84 years old in July.

PO Kris: Gosh, you’re that old na pala. In fairness, hindi halata Justice. Parang 80 ka lang. Aha-ha-ha Seriously, I’m impressed. I hope you don’t mind, sino po ang mas matanda: kayo o ‘yong Revised Penal Code of the Philippines?
Justice Cuevas: Your Honor, I object to this entire line of questioning. It’s leading… leading to the grave. That is totally irrelevant to the case.

PO Kris: Ay ganun? Fine! As you were saying, the respondent is here? Where is he seated?
Justice Cuevas: They’re at the second row of the gallery your honor. Tumayo po kayo Mr Chief Justice.
PO Kris: Oh, he. Is that Mrs. Corona beside him? In fairness huh, pretty s’ya. May taste ka Mr. Chief Justice. At sino ‘yong katabi ni Mrs. Corona? Si Atty. Midas Marquez ba ‘yon?
Justice Cuevas: Yes, your honor.
PO Kris: Mas pretty s’ya. Aha-ha-ha.

(Phone rings)
PO Kris: Oh, wait I have a call. One minute suspension.
Session Suspended.

Day 1, Moment No. 3:
Presiding Officer Kris: Sorry, ladies and gentlemen. That’s my son, Bimby. He’s watching the trial right now on TV. So if you would please, can you say “Hi Bimby!” Sige naaaa… matutuwa ‘yon. At the count of three, ok? 1, 2, 3…

Senators: “Hi Bimby!”
PO Kris: Yey! I love youuuu! Ok, proceed na sa opening statements. Team Edward mauna na kayo…

Cong. Niel Tupas: Today we lay down before this honorable impeachment tribunal the product of the collective voice of the people…

PO Kris: Teka lang. Maraming nanonood na ‘di nakapag-aral. Pakilinaw please ang ‘collective.’ Baka isipin nila, may na-collect kayo kaya inimpeach n’yo s’ya. Bad sa image ”yon. Please continue…

Cong. Niel Tupas: Ang ibig sabihin namin your honor, ang kasong ilalatag namin ay mula sa iisang tinig ng taong-bayan. And if I may proceed, before God and country we say this: you, Mr Corona, are an enemy to good government. Like Judas Iscariot, you betrayed your God for a few pieces of gold. In the name of God, go!

PO Kris: Excuse me Mr. Congressman! Unang-una, it’s not gold. Helloooo! It’s silver. Day 1 pa lang mali na ang research mo. Kainis kayo! Pinapahiya n’yo si Noy! And pleeeeeeease, avoid using the name of God. Kasi, hindi rin fair kung ‘di mo kukunin ang side ni God. Actually, God talked to me late last night. Dini-deny n’yang nag-usap kayo. Pa’no ba ‘yan? Careful ka. Perjury ‘yang ginagawa mo. To the impeachment court, ignore that portion about God okay. Mabuti nang safe. Team Jacob, your turn.

Justice Cuevas: Your Honor, Chief Justice Renato Corona is entitled to an acquittal of the charges against him. In addition to this representation your honor, may we also put on record, that he is entering a plea of not guilty to all the charges embodied in the complaint.

PO Kris: Day 1 pa lang ng trial, not guilty na agad? ‘Di ba pwedeng pakilala muna ang defense panel? Yes, what is the concern of the gentleman from Iloilo, Tito Frank, I mean, Senator Frank Drilon…

Senator Drilon: Just a point of order Kris, I mean, Madam Senate President. Anong ‘not guilty’ ang pinagsasasabi ng defense? That manifestation is premature! Defense panel is only supposed to enter their appearance.

PO Kris: ‘Yon nga ang sabi ko. Ayyyyy, not listening. Kainis. Masyado kang obvious Tito Frank. Premature assistance to the prosecution aha-ha-ha. Sorry. If you’re watching Noy, sorry.

(Phone rings)
PO Kris: ‘Sensya na, sagutin ko lang. 10 seconds…

PO Kris: Oh? Really? Shocks, matutuwa sila. Ok,ok.. sige. Thanks Boy. Bye.

PO Kris: Ladies and gentlemen of the impeachment court, I have good news. We are trending worldwiiiiiide! Yey! In fairness! Tinalo pa raw natin ang Golden Globe Awards. Winnnnner! Dahil d’yan, I’ll let you rest muna. Tomorrow na lang ulit, 2PM okay? Trial adjourned.

Source: http://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/

Naisip Ko Kanina Habang Nagiikot, Sana Minsan Mailakad Kita Dito

Kahit Magikot Lang At Ienjoy Yung Mga Ilaw At Paligid...

Sosyalin Yung Lugar Kaya Bagay Tayo Diyan... 

Pero Sa Totoo Lang Nakakarelax Maglakad Dito... 

Photo Sources:

http://metrogimik.wordpress.com/2008/09/17/bonifacio-high-street/

http://flickrhivemind.net/User/Jaydee%20Pan%20%28Stopped%20for%20a%20while%29/Interesting

http://wn.com/Bonifacio_High_Street

http://www.blogalag.com/blog/2010/01/going-japanese-at-jozu-kin.html

Kung Ganito Sumagot Si Remington...

Stupid Funny Customer Stories

(I work with IT issues over the phone. Sometimes, it’s hard to hear the customers clearly.)
Me: “Okay, ma’am, and on your username, was that N as in Nancy?”
Customer: “No, N like knife.”
Me: *jokingly* “So, N like pneumonia?”
Customer: *exasperated* “Yes! I said N as in knife! Jeeze, can you turn up your volume or something?”
***

(I work at a bar and grill on the breakfast shift. I have just badly cut my finger and have blood running down my hand. As I am running to the kitchen for first aid, a customer approaches me.)
Customer: “Excuse me, can I get a glass of orange juice please?”
Me: “Ma’am, can I come right back to you? I need to take care of this.”
(I raise my hand up to show her that my hand is bleeding all over.)
Customer: “The service here is terrible. I want my orange juice!”
Me: “Ma’am, I really need to go take care of this.”
Customer: “Forget it!” *storms out without paying for her meal*
*** 

(I work at a hotel that serves free breakfast to its guests. I’m setting it up when this encounter happens.)
Guest: “I just heard you cough back there!”
Me: “Yeah, it’s just a small cough. I’m just getting over a cold.”
Guest: “I’m going to report you to the board of health!”
Me: “For coughing?”
Guest: “Yes, for coughing! You’re serving food and I know you’re coughing all over it! I can see the germs crawling all over the food!”
Me: “I can assure you, ma’am, I’m not coughing on the food. I wouldn’t want to eat coughed on food so I wouldn’t serve it.”
Guest: “I know how you hotel people are! You want all the guests to get sick so they’ll leave and you can sit on your lazy asses all day!”
Me: “Ma’am, if no one showed up to the hotel I wouldn’t have a job. I assure you I didn’t cough on the food.”
(Suddenly, the guest changes her tone and attitude as if nothing had happened.)
Guest: “Well, if I were you, I would. Some people are so rude. They think they can just barge in and walk all over girls like you, making ridiculous accusations and get away with it. Bless your soul for being such a moral girl.”
Me: *speechless*
Guest: “You have a wonderful day! Thanks for setting breakfast up for us early risers.”
***

(I”m working at a call center that sells products out of a very large catalog that doesn’t change often. We have just moved from Volume III to Volume IV.)
Me: “Ma’am, if you could turn to page 36, in volume four, I would be more than happy to assist you with that product.”
Customer: “I don’t have a volume four. I only have a volume I V.”
Me: “Ma’am…that is volume four. It’s printed in Roman numerals.”
Customer: “Does that mean I have to learn Latin to read this stupid catalog?!”
***

(I work as a cashier at a well-known arts and crafts store. This particular day, it is raining very heavily, which is rare in Arizona.)
Customer: *walking over to myself and other cashier* “Excuse me, it is wet outside. I almost slipped.”
Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. Are you okay?”
Customer: “Yes, but you need to put a wet floor sign outside so people are aware that it is wet.”
Coworker: “It’s raining, ma’am. I think people know the ground will be wet.”
Customer: “No, they won’t! Because I didn’t!” *storms out the store*
***

Made To Order At Ang Suit Ni...

Ang Mga Tela

Ang Mga Sample

At Ang Suit Ni...

parang ITA lang! : )