Know what? I just don't know what to do. I doubt if you will read this in the soonest time.
I have been holding myself back in reaching out to you 'cause you might still be very stressed and I might just disturb you while I fear that you might drift too far from me until I can't reach you anymore.
If you think I am OK, basically I'm not.
I act as if I'm strong about it but you know I can't endure you.
I just don't want you to feel it. You have so much to think about and I don't want to add myself into it.
My silence is another way of my continuous support.
Everyday I look forward that you might drop me some message, a call or even seeing you.
Call me crazy but I still whisper good morning, take care and goodnight everyday.
I have been working overtime at the office until weekends because demands from client have been so stiff.
I am going through work related stresses too but that just cannot eclipse your silence. I have accepted tons of tasks to keep me busy just to realize you and work can never really be on the same page.
I still instinctively take a pause and think of you, glance at my phone and even look at the last message you sent just to feel as if you are around.
I call everyone so that somehow, I have someone to talk to. I have been cramming myself daily on what to do when I come home at night, for at the end of the day, my mind would still go home to you.
Of course, I don't want myself to be a total mess. I still want to be sane.
I am telling a sad story here, and yes, I am sad and yes, your absence drove me to tears and yes, it hurts but those do not make my love less.
The irony of these all? I don't feel any anger, hatred or remorse. It's just missing you badly.
Bring me back to day 1 and I will still walk the same path or maybe avoid some significant bumps.
